The Last Resort

Before the foundation of the world, I was chosen. Chosen to be a Joint Heir with Christ. I was 17 Y.O. when the Lord Jesus found me. You see, I was the one who was lost. Not Him. I was born in Williamsport, Pa. November 23, 1952. At 2 pounds and 10 ounces. A 32 weeker. I have been married 25 years. Now I work in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Talk about a full-circle! I've 5 sisters who love to play Monopoly.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Jeep Wagoneer BBQ

O.K. You Guys....That's enough food fighting. A while ago I shared a story of an episode on the Walking R Ranch. It was a Saturday morning and Mg and I were out front trying to start the trusty 1976 Jeep Wagoneer. I will again try to retell my story...so: The Jeep wouldn't start so I thought that if I primed the carburetor with gasoline it would just startup...Let me tell you, boy did it ever START UP!!!!!While Mg was in the front seat turning over the ignition, I was pouring gas from my authentic Jumbo sized Jack in the Box Cup into the carburetor. The 1976 Jeep Wagoneer backfired and caught my Jumbo sized Jack in the Box Cup on fire. Well I heroically and quickly and accurately threw my ignited Jack in the Box cup safely away. It landed right on top of my brand new (filled) 5 GALLON red gasoline container. Do you think it caught on fire??? Duh, Big red truck!!! Of course it did! And it wasn't a wimpy old L.A. or Canadian fire it was something else. I ran across the Barnyard to my Boat and got my Super-duper fire extinguisher to put out the fire. I aimed at the fire and WALLA it spit a little bit of Super-duper fire extinguisher contents out. The problem was there wasn't enough velocity to make it to the fire. So I threw the extinguisher at the car. I showed it!!! I wasn't going to let a totally fire engulfed 1976 Jeep Wagoneer get the best of me! When I have a barbecue...I HAVE A BARBECUE!! I go all out. Meanwhile this CDF helicopter was hovering over my fully engulfed 1976 Jeep Wagoner. He wasn't invited to my BBQ. Didn't he know he was just fanning the flames?? Of all the nerve. Next, I saw another Helicopter. They just don't get it ...this was a private BBQ. To top it off down the driveway there came a big giant CDF fire truck. They got out. And would you believe it they didn't have any food with them. Nothing at all. All they did was ask me what I was doing. Couldn't they see I was out in front of my house watering my burnt up 1976 Jeep Wagoner. People can get so nosey. The said I did a good job...How could they, the didn't even have anything to eat. This all happened before 10:30 AM. This was just the start of our day. So I hope you have a wonderful DAY!

10 Comments:

  • At Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:34:00 PM, Blogger ComfortablyCrazy said…

    Who told them about the BBQ anyway, it's not like you're neighbors are all tha close.

     
  • At Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:58:00 PM, Blogger Gliterwolf said…

    That's halarious! Keep them comeing.

     
  • At Thursday, September 21, 2006 9:09:00 PM, Anonymous knitterykate said…

    Maybe they thought you said that you would provide the food. When you host a barbeque that's what you usually do.

    You always seem to have mishaps with your cars. Only you are usually driving them when they happen. Remember when you put your car between the post and the chain link fence and the official complimented you on your driving skill? Only thing was, your car was parked on the sidewalk.

    Remember when you did a 360 on the freeway aiming for the offramp, and going 1000 miles an hour? (I thought for sure that was the end).

     
  • At Thursday, September 21, 2006 9:12:00 PM, Anonymous knitterykate said…

    Check out this:
    http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14927046/?GT1=8506

     
  • At Friday, September 22, 2006 10:40:00 AM, Blogger secret agent josephine said…

    I laughed so hard the kitten, who was sleeping on my lap, almost fell off!

     
  • At Saturday, September 23, 2006 9:53:00 PM, Blogger ioi said…

    Awesome Post!!! Now you just have to tell us your version of Gramma's surprise birthday party. It's so nice to be able to keep up with you this way! Thank you for blogging with the rest of us!
    Always,
    ~ioi

     
  • At Monday, September 25, 2006 10:24:00 PM, Blogger Mommyof2 said…

    Loved your story. Great creative writing!

     
  • At Monday, October 02, 2006 12:19:00 PM, Blogger CanadianProgrammer said…

    Hmm... do you think we need to have a food-fight every time we want to hear from Captain Dan?

    Maybe it's like a rain-dance.. we need to do a dan-dance with yellow food, and a new post will materialize?

     
  • At Tuesday, October 03, 2006 9:17:00 PM, Blogger Captin Dan said…

    Wow I didnt know that so many people were reading my Glob!!Yes there never is a dull moment at or towards the Walking R Ranch. Well we finally got ChinaDawns 50 foot trailer moved. We put it North of the new barn. It is not level... I think I want to get my money back.... They said all I need to do is 'level it.' From where I come from, when you level something well, you just LEVEL IT!!! I kind of think that that is not what they mean. Jerry and I have been working long and hard trying to do this moving thing upright and legal. I went to DMV and got the necessary permit, went to RB rentals and got 3 wide load signs. One sign said "Oversized Load", another said "Wide Load Ahead", and the Third said "Wide Load Following" We even had two of those flashing yellow lights. We were going to be extra specially covered from all angles. The morning of the move I was to meet Jerry at McDonalds at 5 AM. Can you imagine me being anywhere at 5 AM? Me neither. I Couldnt wake up Ikers so I enlisted his buddy Miguel to drive the other of the two pilot cars. Miguel and I arrived at McDonalds at 8:30 Am. We had had to pick up the signs and they did not open till 8:00. Jerry was taking it all in stride. Nothing seems to rile him. So off we went to Corning. Two cars ahead and The Big TRuck following. Finally we were at Danas and put the trailer on the hitch. It was too short. Frustratingly we called around the mighty metropolis of Corning To find another longer armed hitch. None were anywhere. After much driving around Corning we found someone who could weld a longer hitch. Only 1 PM and we were in busines So back to Danas and we got all hitched up. We made the first two turns without a hitch. (wrong choice of words) ...without any problems. At Orangehurst just off of Hall we chose to check out everything. We were desparately low on all four trailer tires. I had Boyscoutingly had brought a spare. It had 8 lug holes. The trailer stupidly had 6. We decided to just park it and start early Sunday Am @5:00 so we could get to Mtg on time. It was getting too trafficey. Early Sat pm I called ChinaDawn and asked here If she could be one of the Pirate-cars. (note the levity here) you have to do this with ChinaDawn sometimes. Without batting an eye she abligehed. (sp) Migael caught up with Ikers who did eventually get up at 3PM. We dropped of ChinaDawns car at her work. (its sign said"Wide Load Ahead") Still attached of course, ready for our early Sunday AM escapade. Sunday morning came and I and Mg drove to Jerrys and got there at 6:15Am He lives in Anderson. Then we headed to Corning trying to get ahold of ChinaDawn who was to be our trailing Pilot-car. WE couldnt reach her. Jerry said dont worry we will do without it. All I could think of was the picture in my minds eye of Chinadawn driving around town with a "Wide Load Ahead" sign on the back of her car.(Heh, Heh.) Talk about poetic justice!! (Incidentally Ikers and I Had gone down Late saturday night to pump up the tires with our compressor and Generator. I did not quite use the pump right and was unable to get above 42#'s of air.) ....So with air provided by a local farmer refilling our airtank 5 times..we were off. 9:00Am sunday am. We drove straight down 99w through Red bluff down Main street then 36..., adn then to home. The looks we got were of others amazed to the guts we had in pulling a 50 foot trailer through town. No we were unable to make it to Mtg Im sure the Lord understood. So there you have it ..Saturdays on the ranch are not the only days that there are never dull moments. Sundays can be just as fun. Have a Great Week!

     
  • At Tuesday, October 03, 2006 10:50:00 PM, Blogger ioi said…

    Captain Dan, you need to put your latest comment in a 'new post'. That way all the people who check your blog will notice that you've posted again. It's definitely worth reading, but it would be so much easier if we didn't have to scroll down to the bottom of your comment page to see all of this great humour! Just copy and paste what you've written here into a new post, and then delete the 'comment post' here AFTER it has shown up in your new post. By the way, I laughed out loud uncontrollably for almost five minutes upon reading the ChinaDawn Wide Load part! It was great! Thanks so much!!

     

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